Everything I hoped for....

that sums up last night's David Sedaris' show, or would performance or even reading be better? Hell, I guess I wished it was a little longer if I had any complaint.

I had bought the tickets back in October and gave one to my friend KJ for Christmas with dinner, drinks and the ride downtown included in the gift. Her new favorite restaurant is Nosh, so that's where we went. Everything was splendid until the restaurant started filling up and then our "small plates" started arriving slower and slower until what we would regard as our entree, the Spicy Shrimp, came about a half hour after we ordered it. Then, they were uncooked. They probably thought after the three glasses of wine and the low-lighting, we wouldn't notice, but we did and they took the shrimp off the bill and bought us a round of drinks and all was forgiven. Kind of.

We got to the show and stood in a line for a cocktail. The sole bartender they had working told us she had a fever as she made us our drinks. Hmmmm... hope it wasn't a typhoid fever or meningitis. Hepatitis, bad too. I do prefer ice scoops to hands.

Our seats were fabulous but I did notice the closer to the stage, the closer the seat proximity.

Sedaris started out reading an excerpt from his new book,  Squirrel Meets Chipmunk, about a cat getting groomed by a baboon. I was hoping that the night's reading was not entirely in support of the book, but looking back I think this was the funniest material of the evening. The baboon is hoping to find common ground with the cat as a new client. She tries to dis a dog client, revealing she hates the dog, because among other things, he licks his butt. The cat responds, "well what's so wrong with that?"

I love the readings concerning growing up with his dysfunctional family. Although our families were far from similar, there was some pretty hilarious dysfunction going on in our household. I don't know if I could make a life's work out of it. I mean come on, we didn't belong to any country club not even the cheap one.

There was one reading about waiting in line for coffee at a hotel coffee shop with some pesky tourists with lots of time on their hands, chit-chatting with the barista, as he frustratingly waits to order a regular cup of coffee, only to find out they don't sell regular coffee. We've all been behind them at the coffee shop - the Munford's, ordering huge complicated flavored coffee drinks. This is a prime example of how he can turn a typical situation into a reading that people are all but pissing their pants laughing so hard. Such talent.

We had a night-cap at MacKenzies and it was a wonderful evening.

I did drop in on the neighborhood gathering but they were done, I did drink a shorty while Noel picked up.

Earlier this week, we watched Survivor. It has gotten so fucked with Rob there that it is really no fun to watch anymore. I do believe his karma will catch up with him. I will reiterate: I cannot stand reality shows who bring back stale douche-bag contestants for the notoriety and ratings.  I can no longer stick up for Phillip as he is just is a complete freak show. I can no longer give excuses for his retarded rants. Then he says he's a Buddhist. Please, a Buddhist would NEVER treat people like he does, nor steal.

Okay enough, I won a golden stool at this year's April Stool's poop pick-up at the dog park. A golden stool is a spray painted, clay, bejeweled-dog turd. I never win anything. But hey, if I am picking up dog shit I might as well win lunch somewhere. At Nosh, no less. I hope they cook the shrimp. Touche. Dog poopay.

Does it get any better than this? I think not.

I took Mags to Holey Rollers to get her a cartilage ear piercing. Never thought I'd be taking her there but I was weak after pulling an all-nighter with my son so he could finish his homework.  That's another story, I haven't done that in a long time (30 years) especially without drugs and/or alcohol. But ask me anything about Louis XIV.  Back to the tattoo parlor. I didn't feel like driving to Claire's. Mags was skeptical. But I rather give the money to a locally owned place really. Plus it was hardly scary. I know we are so edgy. But never conformists. Conformists would have gone to the mall.

Bumper stickers from the dog park...

Happy Easter, for whatever it means to you.  Carol

April Fool's Day

Did not even pull a prank today. I have lost my spirit.

My thoughts are with Sharon Bailey and her family. Her mom passed away Wednesday morning In Kentucky. I hope all the good memories can sustain them through their grief. 

We had Survivor here last night. G2 smoked a very delicious chicken breast that was out-of-this-world. I made some mac and cheese that was about 30 minutes overcooked. I like it creamy.

Survivor was fun. If you don't watch it or don't give a shit, don't read this paragraph. Well Boston Rob still has a strangle-hold over his team, which includes three young bimbos, a cute ex-NFL player, and my WCS class of '78 classmate Phillip Sheppard. Phil gets real irritated at the bikini clads because they don't do anything and they worship Rob. Things will all change when they merge next week. Rob will be out soon, even if they keep him, he will never win. He's already played and become a loud-mouth celebrity that has a high opinion of himself.

Okay I am working around the house on my son's room and as you can tell, I don't  have lots to say so I'll be around next week. K?

Survivor, burnt toast and the Art of Running in the Rain.

If you don't want to read my Survivor critique scroll down to below the Survivor photos and you'll be spared.  However, even if you don't watch the show you'll want to know about it. Don't ya?

 I watched carefully this time and I think Phil is just so honest, too honest to play the game with the likes of Boston Rob, whose word is never worth much. Phil has pledged his vote to him while they are still tribe-mates. Rob makes mockery out of him. I think Phil's a lot like coach.

I can just hear Rob, Oh Ambah, Ambah. He's running his team into the ground because of his insecurities.  He talked the "sheep" of his tribe to vote out the Tarzan kid (Matt) because he congratulated the other team.  (All Survivor photos by CBS.)

 The Ometepe tribe gets weaker and weaker and the weakest is Rob who is just out for himself. Too bad Matt was nice to look at. Maybe he'll survive on Redemption Island.

The other recycled contestant, Russell, below left, is such an unlikable snake. Survivor producers: Quit recycling these same old same douche bags .  They are pathetic people.  They already have millions of dollars, let some honest hard-workers win it this time. I know I can only speak for myself and the group I view with, we are all very sick of old players returning.

I think Ralph, the hayseed from the other tribe, has done a good job showing what an evil ass Russell is.  Vote his ASS off so I don't have to look at the weasel and hear is egoistical diatribe.

Ralph, above, has already found the idol.   He pointed out to the tribe that Russell took the clue for himself and his two clueless broad side-kicks.

That wraps up my Survivor observations, now on to more important issues.

Burnt toast

A while back my friend Denise said that while she was a dispatcher, one of her co-workers told her that some heart attack victims smelled burnt toast just before having a heart attack. I did a little research on that because I was skeptical. By research I mean I googled "burned toast heart attack"

What I learned was the toast smell has been related to people before having, strokes, seizures and heart attacks but mainly is is considered a wive's tale as there's no scientific or medical reasoning behind the symptom. Unless it was your brain burning up a bit and getting "toastie".

 A few nights after learning this, I woke up in the middle of the night, and you guessed it smelled some toast where there wasn't any toasting. I had to calm myself down. No other symptoms right?, right. The human brain and the power of suggestion is very mystical.

Then,  a couple of days ago one of the "animal print jacket ladies" from the AFA PAO office was smelling toast. She is the more robust one, weighing easily 250 lbs. I almost told her she may be having a heart attack or stoke, just to be mean or maybe to save her life? "You know that's a symptom that you're gonna have a heart attack?"  ha ha haha, I am not that mean even though they are the busiest of  busy-bodies.  I should have.  Maybe I would have sent her into a panic, maybe saved her life. She was there the next day so it probably would have been panic.

Editors note: April 3, 2011. Smelling scents that don't make sense.

I later did more research and after a few more google searches I found out that it also can mean there's a ghost or spirit in the area. This has to do more with the smell of burnt matches or tobacco, but they do mention the smell of cooking as well. About twenty years ago I moved into an apartment in the same general area of where I now live.  This area is historically known as an Indian burial site. I smelled tobacco smoke in the same area of our apartment. The upstairs apartment was empty. It really bothered me at the time. We only lived  there a year, but I never felt comfortable there.

Dog Park Incident.

My dog has not been charged of any sexual improprieties. (see previous post) We have not been back to the dog park mainly because of my laziness. But we ran him up Red Mtn. This morning and we are both very tired.  That's for next time.

Hope you don't smell burnt toast unless you're burning it, baby. I'll write on the "Art of Running in the Rain" later.  (click name to link to review written March 31, 2011), as I am running out of time. Taker  easy, CSL