Everything I hoped for....

that sums up last night's David Sedaris' show, or would performance or even reading be better? Hell, I guess I wished it was a little longer if I had any complaint.

I had bought the tickets back in October and gave one to my friend KJ for Christmas with dinner, drinks and the ride downtown included in the gift. Her new favorite restaurant is Nosh, so that's where we went. Everything was splendid until the restaurant started filling up and then our "small plates" started arriving slower and slower until what we would regard as our entree, the Spicy Shrimp, came about a half hour after we ordered it. Then, they were uncooked. They probably thought after the three glasses of wine and the low-lighting, we wouldn't notice, but we did and they took the shrimp off the bill and bought us a round of drinks and all was forgiven. Kind of.

We got to the show and stood in a line for a cocktail. The sole bartender they had working told us she had a fever as she made us our drinks. Hmmmm... hope it wasn't a typhoid fever or meningitis. Hepatitis, bad too. I do prefer ice scoops to hands.

Our seats were fabulous but I did notice the closer to the stage, the closer the seat proximity.

Sedaris started out reading an excerpt from his new book,  Squirrel Meets Chipmunk, about a cat getting groomed by a baboon. I was hoping that the night's reading was not entirely in support of the book, but looking back I think this was the funniest material of the evening. The baboon is hoping to find common ground with the cat as a new client. She tries to dis a dog client, revealing she hates the dog, because among other things, he licks his butt. The cat responds, "well what's so wrong with that?"

I love the readings concerning growing up with his dysfunctional family. Although our families were far from similar, there was some pretty hilarious dysfunction going on in our household. I don't know if I could make a life's work out of it. I mean come on, we didn't belong to any country club not even the cheap one.

There was one reading about waiting in line for coffee at a hotel coffee shop with some pesky tourists with lots of time on their hands, chit-chatting with the barista, as he frustratingly waits to order a regular cup of coffee, only to find out they don't sell regular coffee. We've all been behind them at the coffee shop - the Munford's, ordering huge complicated flavored coffee drinks. This is a prime example of how he can turn a typical situation into a reading that people are all but pissing their pants laughing so hard. Such talent.

We had a night-cap at MacKenzies and it was a wonderful evening.

I did drop in on the neighborhood gathering but they were done, I did drink a shorty while Noel picked up.

Earlier this week, we watched Survivor. It has gotten so fucked with Rob there that it is really no fun to watch anymore. I do believe his karma will catch up with him. I will reiterate: I cannot stand reality shows who bring back stale douche-bag contestants for the notoriety and ratings.  I can no longer stick up for Phillip as he is just is a complete freak show. I can no longer give excuses for his retarded rants. Then he says he's a Buddhist. Please, a Buddhist would NEVER treat people like he does, nor steal.

Okay enough, I won a golden stool at this year's April Stool's poop pick-up at the dog park. A golden stool is a spray painted, clay, bejeweled-dog turd. I never win anything. But hey, if I am picking up dog shit I might as well win lunch somewhere. At Nosh, no less. I hope they cook the shrimp. Touche. Dog poopay.

Does it get any better than this? I think not.

I took Mags to Holey Rollers to get her a cartilage ear piercing. Never thought I'd be taking her there but I was weak after pulling an all-nighter with my son so he could finish his homework.  That's another story, I haven't done that in a long time (30 years) especially without drugs and/or alcohol. But ask me anything about Louis XIV.  Back to the tattoo parlor. I didn't feel like driving to Claire's. Mags was skeptical. But I rather give the money to a locally owned place really. Plus it was hardly scary. I know we are so edgy. But never conformists. Conformists would have gone to the mall.

Bumper stickers from the dog park...

Happy Easter, for whatever it means to you.  Carol